I don’t know how I managed to have two children without hearing about the ring of fire. I know I’m the first of my friends to have kids, but that was some fucked up shit, and a heads up would’ve been fan-fucking-tastic.
I swear I’m not this liberal with my f bombs (hahaha literally lol’ing as I typed that), but this is warranted. But before I completely scare you from having children, I’m currently 2 months postpartum and I’m slowly forgetting about the trauma my vaj went through. In the big scope of things, my vagina will get through this small blip in time. But it must be discussed. She deserves that much.
To give you some backstory, I was in labor for 70 hours. You read that right. It was all incredibly primal, and I got the VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) that I PRAYED for. Hallelujah, I’m so grateful I didn’t have to have a c section.
I felt so completely robbed after my c-section with Bodhi, and I was determined to experience a vaginal birth and contractions with Ryder. I was told Bodhi would be 11 pounds and would most likely break bones trying to squeeze out of my vagina, so I obviously didn’t want to hurt him and opted for a scheduled c-section. He ended up being 8 pounds, 8 ounces, and even though his health was all that mattered, I couldn’t help but feel upset and ashamed, (I now know better). So I was determined AF for my VBAC, and luckily, so were my doctors.
After 13 hours of contractions at home, I went to the hospital. I was only dilated 2.5 cm. I was in early labor for what felt like 756 years, and fast forward to hour 68.5 I was finally 10cm dilated. I could tell that I was, because I felt like I had to take the biggest shit ever (that, THAT I fucking knew) and the pushing began.
So here’s the scoop – when you start pushing, the nurse puts her fingers in your vagina and for lack of a better analogy, fingers the shit out of your hoo ha. You breathe in, breathe out, and then push like you have to get that poop out while you’re at your boyfriends house and you’re still in the “I don’t shit like other girls” phase. The hardest and deepest pushing you’ve ever done in your life – that’s what it’s like. There was just so much going on and so many things I was feeling and I was fucking EXHAUSTED.
I made sure to push as hard as I could every time the nurse was coaching me through a push, majorly due to the fact that I was so scared that if things weren’t moving along, we would end up doing a c-section.
After some intense pushing, Ryder was crowning. If you’re not familiar with crowning, it’s when the biggest part of the baby’s head is visible in the birth canal. So basically Ryder’s head was crowning and I experienced the oh so wonderful joy of the ring of fire.
HOLY SHIT. WHY DID I NEVER HEAR ABOUT THE RING OF FIRE BEFORE I EXPERIENCED IT?!
For real, wtf.
Now, I hear some women are numb to it and don’t feel any pain, but let. me. tell. you. I was not one of those people. I felt it all. I literally screamed FUCK at the top of my lungs because baby girl, I did not expect that. It was the most painful, burning sensation I have ever felt in my entire life.
I’m sorry that my truth is so intense, but this was how it went down, and I wish I had known just how intense it could be.
Labor is PRIMAL.
After I pushed Ryder out, it was time to push out the placenta. After that, came sewing time. I had a second degree tear which is totally normal, but it was like my doctor was sewing a damn throw pillow. It took so much longer than I thought it would. Everyone said that when your baby is born, you won’t even feel when they’re sewing you up, which was a straight lie in my case.
Vaginal birth is WILD. But she healed so fast and took one for the team. If I had to do it all again, I’d go for the vaginal birth. I only took Motrin to heal, no narcotics involved, which is ideal for me. I hate pain killers, they make me nauseous af and mess with my mental health.
Here is a list of my must haves for vaginal postpartum recovery:
- Frida Mom Upside Down Peri Bottle– game changer, must have peri bottle. just get it. i promise you, you will not regret it.
- Tucks Medicated Hemorrhoidal Pads– these help you heal faster and have a soothing aspect to them
- Always Maxi Pads– I used these after I left the hospital and no longer had access to the hospital size pads they give you when you’re there. I switched back and forth from using underwear and these pads and using the adult incontinence underwear.
- Always Discreet Incontinence Underwear (plus size friendly)- I got size XXL and was a size 18/20 during birth. These are soft and super comfortable with a bit of stretch.
Please trust and believe this was my personal experience with vaginal birth, and yours could be COMPLETELY different. That’s what is so beautiful about birth, it is truly, uniquely yours.
I had my game face on that entire 70 hours.
It was worth it.
Would I do it again? maybeee…
My great aunt used to say, “It’s the hardest thing to endure, the easiest to forget.” That could not hold more truth. After I gave birth I told Shiloh to never touch me again lol. But watch me be pregnant in a year or two.
Hope I didn’t scare you, but I’ll always keep it 100 and real with you.